Dear Agony Z
I keep being urged to “show, not tell” by my
crit partners. They say what I give isn’t enough, but I don’t understand, since
I do give descriptions and explanations. Can you please enlighten me here?
Signed — The one who doesn’t get it.
Dear I-don’t-get-it,
“Show, not tell” is
probably the first line you heard when you joined this career. It is probably
the most passed-around piece of advice in writing. It doesn’t really get better
with time either though, sometimes droning into a sort of litany you get fed up
with.
However, there has
hardly been most precious advice in writing. In essence, it is what writing is
all about. Anyone can string a few sentences together to give an account of a
happening. The writer, though, goes further, bringing life to this episode.
How? By “showing” and not “telling.”
Let’s go to the roots
of this statement. “Show” v/s “tell”. What does it imply? Let’s take an
example.
The sky was a clear, powdery blue, and the
brilliant sun hung like a golden orb in its vast expanse, bathing the world
below with bright rays that could blind the eyes when it reflected off water.
It was summer.
Both of these
sentences say the same thing, but which one held more appeal? Anyone can tell
you it is summer, but what can you as a writer provide your reader with what
summer is like? While the first sentence “shows”, the second merely “tells”.
This can also work
into planting the setting and giving your reader a feel of where the story
takes place. Your story can take place in summer in England. Good. But where in
England? Summer as seen in London is very different from summer as seen in the
country. Another example could be what summer is like in a dry area like Las
Vegas and summer in a humid place like Miami.
“Show, don’t tell” can
deepen your story too, and present your writing voice, as well as your
character’s mindset. Take the following statement:
He was as sinful as chocolate.
You can use this to
describe your hero, but frankly, any woman can tell you a man is as sinful as
chocolate. What does the woman you’re writing about, your heroine, think? Say you have two women vying for the same man.
Both can describe him as in the above statement, but do you think this would
ring true? How about giving your reader more? This can be done by “showing”
them what each thinks of the bloke in question, without simply “telling” what
he is like.
One woman can say – he was as sinful as chocolate. Like a Mars
bar. All hard and dark on the surface, but take a bite and you get to the heart
of him, where he was soft and sweet, with just the right amount of sugar
merging with the melting bitterness of the dark cocoa coating that held him as
the whole he was.
The other woman could
say – he was as sinful as chocolate.
Almost like extra rich, 70% cocoa extra dark Lindt slabs. Polished and so
smooth on the surface, with a crispiness that remained even after you’d taken a
bite. It didn’t end even when the delectable concoction started to melt on your
tongue, when you got that potent rush of bitterness that stung the taste buds,
making you crave more even as you wince. And then the hint of sugar kicked in,
soothing and bringing bliss disproportionate to the sharpness that had just
invaded your senses. That’s what he was like, an addiction she loathed yet one
which she always gave in to when he overcame all her defenses.
In the above
paragraphs, you can take the same sentence and expand on it, bringing a
uniqueness to the story, to your voice, to each character. It can wrap your
reader in a world where they hang on to your every word, where they get lost in
the meanders of your pen.
How do you do this? By
“showing, not telling.”
Got a question for the Agony Aunt? Don’t
hesitate, and drop her an email at
mail.z.agony@gmail.com
Lynda,
great piece. It clearly describes SHOW not TELL, something even I could use...I truly enjoyed it. Thank you, Kathryn Meyer Griffith
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Sometimes I think 'show not tell' is used parrot fashion to avoid thinking... not referring to the advice above of course, which has a lot of good in it.
'She stepped outside. It was raining' can be an excellent statement depending on the context. I only go into details of her feelings if the rain is something special - perhaps she had just survived a near-death experience?
I just reached 'A Moveable Feast' from my shelf. Hemingway could go whole pages without EVER showing.
HOW not TELL is a slogan, and as such should be used with discretion.
Jacqueline
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Interesting article I get gigged on that all the time lol. I am trying really hard to show and not tell. I guess it from reading so much over the years and I never paid any attention to how it was written. I just read for pleasure show me tell me no difference. When did the change occur? I think I was reading the other day that it happened after the eighties?
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Hi there ladies
Interesting comments. I'm glad you got something out of the article to get you thinking.
Kathryn, I'm glad my examples could be of some use. I have tried to pass on what I myself have learned.
Jacqueline, I admit you hit on a good point too. It is not necessary to 'show' everything. It is also true that the writer must be able to discern where 'showing' can strengthen the writing. It depends on the specifics of the work, definitely. A writer's voice migth also not be inclined towards 'showing'.
Kathy, I have no idea when the change took place. It is just taken for granted now as a guideline for writing, especially in the realm of romance and popular fiction. Literature gets away with it still, but the popular genres, not so much. It sould also be remembered that when you pick up a book, your enjoyment as a reader comes from the seamless 'showing' of the story that the writer plunges you in. Telling can get jarring, whereas showing can suck you into the book and keep you enthralled.
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There are also cultural differences to be accommodated: I find that American editors often ask "But what were you feeling?" As a successful lady writer told her NY editor "Listen, I'm Australian. I don't talk about my feelings, and when I do, I try to be funny."
And if cultural differences between countries are difficult, how about those between men and women. Men, as everyone knows, don't have proper feelings as women do, and 'showing' the signs of a hero's inner turmoil would be impossible. You just have to resort to telling the reader how the heartless hunk felt.
If you are trying to show feelings, life is very difficult. Feeling cold is fine (She shivered etc), but how about "she felt a growing sense of loss"? It's very hard to show complex feelings, unless the reader is into sign language LOL!
I believe SHOW not TELL is a guideline, to be applied with intelligence.
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I agree with your final line, Jacqueline.
I also agree with the cultural differences and also the gender issue.
However, I also believe you can work around those issues. A man is a man, ok. He doesn't feel? Wrong. He feels as a man does, and that's the job of the writer to convey this properly.
That's my point - show relevance. Simply telling will get you there yes, but anyone can simply tell. As a writer, try to show. If it's not appropriate, fine. If it is, and you miss that boat, you may be doing yourself a disfavour.
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Agony Aunt,
It's so easy to tell someone to show don't tell, but it's up to the author to keep reminding herself to do it.
Thanks for the great examples of show don't tell.
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Thank you Sandy.
Yes, it is up to the writer to find her particular brand of writing. Show don't tell is a guideline only. In this example, it was used in the greater context of Symbolism and deepening the story.
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Great blog here and a very good lesson in the phenomena called "Show, don't tell". However, I have discovered that the line between SHOWING and 'purple prose' is a very thin line. Learning to show really takes a lot of work and time.
I'll be visiting this blog again!
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WOW. I love the examples with the two chocolate analogies (though, I have to admit, now I'm seriously contemplating the bowl of Dove chocolates propped on the dining table).
What a lovely way to SHOW what it means to SHOW.
Thanks!!
--Chiron O'Keefe
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Shada,
I am really glad that my post has allowed you to glean some tips about writing.
True though what you said about the fine line to purple prose. In itself, showing is an 'art', and that is what writers aim to master most of the time.
Thanks for your lovely words.
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Chiron,
I am glad the examples I used conveyed to the readers what I was trying to say.
Send some of those chocs if you can!
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